The Hood Salute and Other Nuggets of Fun

You have got to be kidding me. The Hood Salute? 4 men have been arrested for firing guns into the air at the funeral of a local kid. Did I mention that this kid was shot to death? Inappropriate perhaps? The family is very upset, and rightfully so. Who wants to bury their child and then subsequently have a handful of bozo’s “salute” him by shooting into the air. This is more than a 21 gun salute gone bad, this is just plain dumb.

Meanwhile in politics, John Kerry chooses to back Barack Obama. Trouble in political paradise? Why is John Kerry backing Obama over his old running mate John Edwards? I mean, I can name 110 reasons not to back John Edwards, but then again, I would never have chosen him as my running mate. I also don’t have a thing for sleeze-bag lawyers. However, I like that this is some type of John Kerry sticking out his proverbial tongue at Edwards. Passive-aggressive mud-slinging by people who aren’t even running, that’s cute boys.

Ahh, a breath of fresh air comes to us from Des Moines, Iowa. Not even from my nieces! Meanest Mom on the planet, Jane Hambleton placed this ad in the Des Moines Register after finding alcohol in her 19 year-old son’s car: “OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don’t love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet.” Wow, this is all enough to make me wish I could get the Des Moines Register in Cincinnati. While the car has been sold, this woman is running the ad for another week because she likes all of the phone calls she gets from people congratulating her on being a responsible parent. Perhaps SHE should write that book Lynne Spears was thinking about authoring. However, I’d like to point out that continuing to run the ad after the car as been sold is technically false advertising, leave that part out of your book Jane.

Meanwhile, in more embarrassing news, some boy in Kentucky is trying desperately to become the most beat up boy in school. After being told he couldn’t join the cheerleading squad, his family filed a discrimination suit with the Kentucky Commission on Human Rights two years ago. Not being a boy cheerleader was devastating to the then 13 year old. He plans to try out again when he gets to high school. I hope enjoys the inside of a locker.

Now for news that isn’t news. 3.1 million young people are getting crazy on the grape! For those who haven’t read my previous blogs on this topic, it means kids are getting high on cough medicine. Drinking cough syrup is more popular than taking LSD. Big surprise, it’s more popular to get high on an over-the-counter, cheap, easily accessible drug than an illicit drug, which is more expensive and not nearly as easy get into your hot, stoned little hands. The federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration is apparently a brilliant use of tax payer money. I’m glad to be funding such geniuses. Anyone who has ever worked in a pharmacy, health & beauty department, or gone to college could’ve told you all of this 3 years ago.

Oh, and apparently some guy in Idaho saw the mark of the beast on his hand so he cut it off. Anyone ever read “I Know This Much Is True”? Seriously, copy cat. Although, he took it a step further, and cooked the severed hand in the microwave. Perhaps that Federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration should be spending their money to help THAT guy instead of a bunch of cracked out, cough syrup drinkers. Who can care about schizophrenics when kids are drinking Dimetap?

Filed under: Life in Cincinnati, News From All Over, Squawk Box on January 11th, 2008