Scott-isms

When all else in my life fails, I can count on my brother to put everything into perspective for me. As a child he got me many spanking by telling me “go ahead Nik, mom and dad won’t care, just do it” or his old stand by “try it, you’ll like it” Come to think of it, he’s probably the reason I ate dirt.

So, in a recent (like 2 hours ago) phone call, he put so many things into perspective for me, and I appreciate them so much that I think they need to be shared, thus i present to you “scott-isms”

Scott on living in Hamilton: “You’d have to be on crack to live in Hamilton! Otherwise, it’d be just too depressing to live there. The only thing they have to look forward to is a big pipe of crack when they get home!

Scott on Baby Boomers: “I’ve been fighting boomers all my life. Some of my ideas are revolutionary, and the man doesn’t understand the revolution.”

Scott on Sudafed not being otc and pharmaceutical waivers: “Why doesn’t Sudafed just stop making products?! I refuse to sign the waiver saying ‘I won’t make meth’, like meth dealers are honest people? They have like 93 friends, with orange teeth, and they are like “I have a cold, can I have a Sudafedâ€?? and they buy their uncooked meth and they go home and cook it up and it’s like does this solve anything? No, it just inconveniences me. It only prevents them from actually stealing it off the shelves first, woo hoo. As far as I’m concerned the waiver should say ‘I will not cook meth, I will not rip the tag off my mattress’.”

Scott on professors (in general, but mine specifically): “I’m sure your professors do suck! It’s like the old adage, those who can’t do teach. If they were any good at what they do, they would be DOING it.”
*NOTE: I totally agree with this statement, especially due to the large number of adjunct faculty that has to come in and teach the labs because there are certain faculty members who have limited experience.

Scott on PhD. etc etc etc: “I hate when people put letters behind their name. I find this very pretentious. It’s like “look, I have the alphabet behind my name!â€?? and no one cares, you still suck.”

Scott on my doctorate pursuits: “No, even if you get your doctorate, I still won’t call you Dr. Butthead…Ok, wait, I might call you Dr. Butthead”

Scott on the tangled web I weave: “Unraveling your lies to mom and dad is like writing a novel based on true events. You give some details, so the reader doesn’t figure out the whole story at the beginning, but keep it vague. So when they ask you the deeper questions, you have answers to give without them being lies. Once you lie to mom and dad you have to keep up with the lie FOREVER.”
*Note: Weaving a tangled web is a high maintenance task that I do not recommend, or advocate. Mainly, because it is high maintenance and I hate high maintenance tasks.

Scott’s life motto: “I don’t just like to irritate mom and dad, I like to irritate everyone.”