Old News

Sadly, I started this blog last week, but due to my A.D.D. I lost interest before I finished it, so here it is, some outdated news.

How many Oxford Townies does it take to call in the FBI? 3, one to drive the rusted out Chrysler van, one to attract the oblivious, collar popping Miami student (it must’ve been that townie feminine charm), and one to beat the living shiznit out of him to steal his money. Go to jail townies, go directly to jail. Do not pass Kroger, do not collect a pack of Salem Lights and a Nati Light. If it weren’t for Oxford, I might lose all hope for my own life.

Sam Malone, thank you for being on city council and spanking your child. It means your lawyer gets to leave us with knowledge nuggets like this, “The inner city isn’t the same as Mayberry.” No Kidding. I often think OTR is similar to Mayberry. Except that Mayberry is full of old white people, and Opie. OTR is full of crackheads, non-white people & gangsters (12 year old gangsters). Yo Opie, I need some crack, fo shizzle.

Why are high priced home being built in Bond Hill? No one in their right mind wants a $300,000 home in Bond Hill. I don’t care WHAT the house looks like, it is not worth my life. I went to high school with a kid from Bond Hill. He got jumped once for his set of gold teeth. He also allegedly used to bring guns to school, not INTO school just in his car. In case someone was waiting for him in the parking lot. Anyways, back to this house idea, let’s think about this. A bunch of poor, angry black people were kicked out of their apartments under the impression that the area would be re-developed and they would be invited back to live in newer apartments with comparable rent. Now they are raging pissed that rich white people are taking their land. Black people aren’t like the Indians, they aren’t going to sit in a tent and smoke a peace pipe on the 40 acres we alot them (and the mule..let’s not forget the mule). Now these crackers are keeping them down (& out of their own hood), I expect these fabulous new houses to start being robbed and vandalized (think spray painting HONKY on the garage) within 24 hours of the first family moving in, so congratulations Cincinnati, for doing something else stupid. Honestly, I think city council could learn a lot from Nero. Burn the city, play the fiddle, start
over.

Congratulations Harrison! You made the news by going ghetto. Thanks for setting some toilet paper on fire and making my day.

And finally, a judgment that seems appropriate. A 32 year old man was sentenced to life in prison after being found guilty of raping is own 5 children (LITTLE children), and forcing them to watch him have sex with his insanely ugly wife (think baby hippo…..beat with an ugly stick). He videotaped this stuff and threatened to post it on the internet. Total pervert. I hope there’s a crazy cannibal in prison waiting to rape this guy in the shower and then eat him….