One Stray Pea

Cincinnati news never ceases to amaze me. If they’re not pulling bodies from the river, they are pulling live people from dumpsters. A man claiming to be from West Chester was hiding from the rain in a dumpster in Anderson Township when Rumpkee came to empty said dumpster. Naturally, this man, who was referred to as “the shoeless man”, ended up inside the garbage truck. Luckily Rumpkee’s finest was able to hear the man yelling for help and call 911 for some assistance.

This is about 27 kinds of ridiculous. First, no one from West Chester goes without shoes. They barely go without a Lexus! Even the high school kids tend to have better cars than what I’ve got. Second, Anderson Township is like 30 miles away!! Apparently the man claims to have walked to Anderson Township from a store in Covington, which is only like 27 miles away from West Chester, but still about 25 miles from Anderson. There are no transients in West Chester, the man simply won’t allow it. Finally, he crawled into a dumpster that was behind a convenience store to hide from the rain. Why not just go IN the store? That whole, “No shoes, no shirt, no service”, thing is probably not going to be enforced by the 18 year old kid behind the counter. That kid doesn’t stop theft either. Oh, and when I say “that kid”, I am simply referring to what I would have done if I worked a convenience store counter.

Thankfully our shoeless transient was not injured in the making of this foolish reality. He was apparently checked out and released at a nearby hospital. Released to where? Who knows. However, I hope the next time he’s “hiding from the rain” (aka dumpster diving), I hope he’s wearing shoes at least. Who knows what kinds of garbage is in there…..

Filed under: Life in Cincinnati, Nonsense on July 5th, 2008