One Stray Pea

Cincinnati Bengals vs. Buffalo Bills
If Cincinnati can’t beat the Bills, I might have to become a Dolphins fan. However, we’ve all seen what the Bills can do with 5 turnovers. Not much. Plus, J.P. Losman is making his comeback. I know, the Bills have won 3 of their last 4, but to be fair, 2 of those wins were against the Jets. I pick Cincinnati by 10.

 Denver Broncos vs. Detroit Lions
The Broncos will climb down out of the mountains this week and face a surprisingly awesome Detroit Lions. Who are these Lions, and where did they come from? I really thought Jon Kitna was kidding with that 10 wins comment, but he might’ve been serious. I’m not sure where to go with this one, I think it’ll be close. Jason Elam is deadly with less than 5 seconds on the clock. Broncos by 3 (only because they are AFC).

 Green Bay Packers vs. Kansas City Chiefs
I believe Brett Favre has turned back the hands of time. I also believe he can win in Kansas City this week. Kansas City might have a better running game but I don’t know that their defense can contain the might Fav-ray. Packers by 10.

 San Diego Chargers vs. Minnesota Vikings
Is this a real game? The Chargers have no choice but to run all over the Vikings. Not because the Chargers are so fantastic this season, but because the Vikings are pretty much a one man show. Adrian Peterson will not carry this team to a win, Chargers by 17.

 Jacksonville Jaguars vs. New Orleans Saints
I know, I was a big Saints supporter earlier in the season. Then the one week I picked against them they stabbed me in the back and had the nerve to win that week. It made me like them a lot less. However this week, I’m choosing the Jaguars because they are AFC, which makes them superior. Jags by 10.

 Arizona Cardinals vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The Cardinals need a win to stay competitive in their division (which is the WORST in the NFL, tied to the AFC East in the suck category face it, beyond the Pats that division blows). Needless to say, this week won’t be the week that they become competitive. The Cardinals have more drama than a junior high girl’s basketball team and I think the Bucs are perfectly capable of taking the W this week. Tampa Bay by 14.

 Carolina Panthers vs. Tennessee Titans
The Titans will win. Because all the Panthers have to rely on is David Carr and Vinny Testaverde. Wow, suck and old. Great combo. I don’t think Vince Young and the Titans will have any trouble rolling on this week. Titans by 10.

 San Francisco 49’ers vs. Atlanta Falcons
Who even cares about this game? Two teams who are mildly talented at best, and even without big Byron (emphasis on the big), the Falcons can easily over power the 49’ers. This is Joey’s chance to resurrect his career..wait, I don’t think Jesus can resurrect this career. Falcons by 3.

 Washington Redskins vs. New York Jets
Eric Mangini has finally come to his senses. Much like the rest of New York I suppose he’s tired of watching Chad Pennington suck. By no means does any of this mean that the Jets will win, it will just look prettier when they lose. Let’s be honest, the Redskins aren’t going to get blown out two weeks in a row, and losing to the Jets even by one is like a blow out, because they are that bad. Redskins by 17.

 Seattle Seahawks vs. Cleveland Browns
I’d love to see the Seahawks walk all over the Browns, but in this football apocalyptic day and age, that may not happen. I know, I’m shocked too. The Seahawks should be well rested after their bye week. Rested enough to win by 7.

 New England Patriots vs. Indianapolis Colts
Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard all the hype. Here’s the deal: dirty cheaters or not, the Patriots are not human. NOT human. I think Teddy Bruschi is actually made out of titanium. Actually, I think that all of the Patriots are robots. Except Randy Moss, who’s only a play maker when he’s pacified by lots of passes from his QB. The Colts however are human, and Marvin Harrison might not even play this week. It hurts me because I hate the Patriots, but the Colts will lose this week…by 10..at least.

 Houston Texans vs. Oakland Raiders
After a fantastic start, the Texans have returned the team we remember. This is probably Sage Rosenfels fault too, because he’s a boy named Sage, how emasculating.  That being said, Sage is looking to snap the Houston losing streak, and his chances are good considering they are playing the Raiders. The Raiders roster should really be full of guys named Sage. Houston by 3.

 Dallas Cowboys vs. Philadelphia Eagles
T.O. returns to Philly, no one cares. Sorry T.O., but you’re getting lost in the Colts-Pats shuffle this week, and rightly so..because you fail to impress me on a regular basis. What will impress me this week is if Donovan McNabb doesn’t end up injured. This mildly impresses me every week. The Eagles are in a do or die situation, and I have the feeling they’re just going to die. At least this week. Dallas by 20.

 Baltimore Ravens vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
Brian Billick will have more to grump about this week after the Ravens lose to the Steelers. Let’s face it, the last time we all saw Steve McNair he looked ugly. The last time we saw the Ravens they were busy losing to the Bills. While it might not be a blow out, the Ravens only chance of survival is if Ray Lewis calls in some favors from a few friends. Yeah, I said it. Steelers by 14.

 In related news, did you see Eli’s rushing TD last week? U-G-L-Y. Eli, do us a favor, don’t run. It’s not pretty, it’s kinda slow..and honestly, at least 58% of Americans were embarrassed by that. Though, not nearly as embarrassed as we are by the Dolphins. Who are lucky enough to spare themselves further heartbreak with a bye this week.

Filed under: Sports on November 2nd, 2007