One Stray Pea

Cleveland Browns vs. St. Louis Rams
You know, it’s really too bad the Rams don’t face the Dolphins this year, it would give them a much better chance of a win. I can’t believe I’m picking the Browns. Again, the Football Apocalypse continues. The Rams probably won’t have a chance of winning a game until Nov. 18 against the 49’ers. That being said, Browns…by 10. I feel dirty now.

 New York Giants vs. Miami Dolphins
Roger Goodell is trying to make football the world’s passion by presenting the Miami Dolphins to the world? Well, in Eli we trust….seriously, my awkward one-sided love affair aside, I certainly hope Eli saves face for American football this week. Who am I kidding? Giants by 20. While we’re at it, can we just leave Joey Porter in London? Call it America’s Thank You note for Boy George, George Michael and Gary Glitter. Keep it real, London.

 Indianapolis Colts vs. Carolina Panthers
Another team with QB drama…but a team that signed Vinny Testaverde. It’s one thing when Vinny beats the Cardinals, but don’t expect another miracle here. Peyton Manning will look like merely a babe as he leads the Colts passed the Panthers by 13. Oh, and let’s hope Vinny doesn’t break a hip out there.

 Detroit Lions vs. Chicago Bears *NFC North Match-Up*
The Bears benched Rexie and started finding a way to win…but not before losing to the Vikings. The Bears were embarrassed by the Lions in the fourth quarter just a month ago. The sting is probably still fresh in Brian Urlacher’s anus. However, the Lions are hot hot hot (as far as the Lions go) this season, and I hate the Bears. Go Lions, by 7. Yay, Kitna!

 Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Cincinnati Bengals *AFC North Match-Up*
So, true to form, the media can’t let Cincinnati just have a drama-free win. Le Sigh. And the INJURIES! Jiminy Crickets, did Caleb Miller break his back? What is the deal with these line backers? Meanwhile the Steelers couldn’t be healthier. However, their defense isn’t consistent on the road. Ok, rant over, real deal, the Bengals are ready to beat the Steelers at home. Lets win on turnovers, Bengals by 3…at the end..Shayne Graham field goal.

 Philadelphia Eagles vs. Minnesota Vikings
Well, halfway into the season and Donovan McNabb is still healthy. There’s the real victory for Philadelphia, but I digress. This is a pretty even match up, and I believe that the Eagles will come out on top by 7.

 Oakland Raiders vs. Tennessee Titans
With Vince Young returning to the field I don’t see much chance for the Raiders. Daunte Culpepper won’t be able to lift the Raiders passed the Titans, especially not on the road. I pick the Titans by 10.

 Buffalo Bills vs. New York Jets *AFC East Match-Up*
AGAIN! Teams with QB drama. The Bills benched former starter JP Losman, the Jets refuse to bench dismal Chad Pennington. I suspect that by the second quarter fans in the Meadowlands will be calling for Kellen Clemens..wait, they’re doing that now. Eric Mangini, New York is a rough place to be…you should really reconsider this Chad Pennington decision..I mean, two words: lynch mob. Bills by 3 (because no matter how bad Chad plays…it won’t make up for how bad the Bills truly are).

 Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
With David Garrard out with a high ankle sprain, I think that the Buccaneers will be able to move passed the Jaguars this week. It’s sad to think that a game depends that much on a quarterback, but it’s true. I pick Tampa Bay by 14.

 Houston Texans vs. San Diego Chargers
It appears Qualcomm Stadium will still be standing on Sunday. Which is good for the Chargers, bad for the Texans. I don’t see the Texans winning on the road, not with injuries in the quarterback position (which is UNHEARD of in this league right now..). I see the Chargers winning by 14.

 New Orleans Saints vs. San Francisco 49’ers
Perhaps the Saints have started marching? Not that beating the 49’ers really counts as marching, but it’s a start boys. I highly doubt that the return of Alex Smith is really going to do the 49’ers any good this week. It is prettier than Trent Dilfer, but so is an epileptic fit. Drew, Reggie and the rest of the Saints by 10.

 Washington Redskins vs. New England Patriots
Why aren’t we sending the Patriots to England? Seriously, if you want the world to love American football, give them a show. I’m not a huge fan of the Patriots, but they are ridiculous this season. I’m not even sure they are human. Except Bill Belichick, who could really benefit from a handful of Prozac. Patriots by 21, Redskins can cry all the way home.

 Green Bay Packers vs. Denver Broncos
Brett Favre takes his show on the road to Denver. Denver gets lucky at home because no one else plays well at a mile high. The thin air actually might be the greatest defense Denver has right now. I’m hoping Brett Favre can take a deep breath and throw the ball..preferably to another Packer (Green Bay doesn’t like the interceptions Brett, it makes those cheese hats even heavier). I pick the Packers by 3, I’d pick them by more but they are NFC and in Denver. Forget the popcorn boys, get’cha oxygen ready!

In related QB drama news, Byron Leftwich injured his ankle last week. Oh wait, that’s not really news, just situation normal. Joey Herrington has a week off to celebrate and look for other ways to blow his career.

Filed under: General on October 26th, 2007