One Stray Pea

Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Detroit Lions
Wow, this could actually be a game. Two teams that were fair at their best last season are both touting winning records. Jon Kitna owes Detroit a lot, they’ve waited a long time to see less suck from the Lions. While potential for excitement is high, I don’t know that the Lions can pull this out. They have a lot of problems with consistency. I pick the Buccaneers by 7.

Tennessee Titans vs. Houston Texans *AFC South Match-Up*
Vince Young may be sitting out this week, although I doubt it. The Texans started strong, but have dropped 2 of their last 3. Situation back to normal. I think the losing streak continues and Vince Young will go home to show the Texans who’s boss. Titans by 7.

New England Patriots vs. Miami Dolphins
Any team can beat any other team on any given day…unless it’s Miami and they’re playing the Patriots. Two words: Blow Out. I mean, is anyone even going to watch this game? Tom Brady is on fire (and is renting his gigantic cheeks out as landing pads for local helicopters). However, Bill Belichick will channel his inner Eeyore after the game and let us all know that even though the Patriots won, they still didn’t play very well. They probably would’ve played better if they had cheated. Patriots by 27 perhaps more.

San Francisco 49’ers vs. New York Giants
Do I even need to say who I am picking for this game? And it’s not just because I have a not so secret crush on Eli. It’s because Trent Dilfer might be the 49’ers best shot at a win. If you’ve seen Trent play, you know that he’s held together by duct tape and a prayer. Meanwhile, Eli is playing as solid as ever, connecting with Plaxico over…and over…and over again. Giants by 17.

Baltimore Ravens vs. Buffalo Bills
Hmm, the last time we saw Buffalo they were losing to Dallas. Because the Bills are awful, and they like to watch history repeat itself. Meanwhile, they continue the NFL’s streak of QB drama, as JP Losman is out of a starting job, at least for now. Meanwhile, the Ravens are beat up, Steve McNair still has cramps or something, and Jonathan Ogden still has some sort of hangnail on his toe. I’d say the Bills have a chance of winning, but who am I kidding. Ravens by 3.

Atlanta Falcons vs. New Orleans Saints *NFC South Match-Up*
It seems as though Bobby Petrino finally got the memo, Joey Herrington sucks. That being said, Byron stopped crying about his ankle for once, and now Joey is crying about his. This means nothing, I give that lineman turned quarterback about 3 quarters and then he’ll look like hop-along. I think this is an evenly matched game, but the Saints got a taste of the W last week and I think they might deserve it more. Saints by 3. Don’t let me down again boys, I voted against you last week and you won. That’s just spiteful!

Arizona Cardinals vs. Washington Redskins
And the drama continues! Apparently Kurt Warner couldn’t get his walker out of the way fast enough, and thus he is injured. Matt is side-lined for the season, which leaves the Cardinals with some guy you’ve never heard of, and the newly-signed Mr. Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who rightfully lives in his brother’s shadow (he’s no Eli…he tried for a few seasons though). I don’t think there’s a chance in this world the Cardinals will win this week. Redskins by 14. The real victory for the Cardinals is to leave the game with at least 2 quarterbacks intact.

New York Jets vs. Cincinnati Bengals
Cincinnati, get it together! I’m still rallying, but they’re still injured. However, the Jets are still pretty dismal. Chad Pennington is still hobbling around, hasn’t this been going on for 2 months now? Barring any great tragedies, I believe in the Who Dey, Bengals by 7.

Kansas City Chiefs vs. Oakland Raiders
The Cheifs appear to be getting their act together. The Raiders appear to be..well, the Raiders. I don’t anticipate anything mindblowing from this game, just that Kansas City will win, by 7 and Daunte Culpepper will continue to try to make a comeback, somewhere.

Chicago Bears vs. Philadelphia Eagles
This could be an exciting game, that is if anyone cared about the Bears or the Eagles. Mostly, we have two teams that everyone thought would be much better, but aren’t really all that exciting. Assuming that the Bears offense shows up, I think they can easily win by 10.

St. Louis Rams vs. Seattle Seahawks
Dear St. Louis, how does 0-7 sound? I mean, it’s pretty safe to say you aren’t making it to the playoffs, but you’ll be lucky just to make it to the endzone. Matt Hasselbeck will be in the unemployment lines soon if he can’t get it together, so there’s your silver lining. Don’t get too excited though, fans at Qwest Field will eat you alive. And then a giant Seahawk will come down from the sky and carry off Marc Bulger, which some fans might see as a blessing at this point. Seahawks by 21.

Minnesota Vikings vs. Dallas Cowboys
TO, I’ve got my popcorn ready this week, give me something to watch. Last week all you did was make me laugh (and stop hating on Tom Brady..which hurt my heart and caused a wicked rash). The Vikings are coming off a huge win, and really, any win for the Vikings is a huge one. However, the Cowboys will be here to ground them in reality once again, and let them know that they are still terrible. Dallas by 14, Tony Romo is also looking for a date to the winter formal by the way.

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Denver Broncos
Last season this might have been a much more exciting game, but the last time we saw the Broncos they were being eaten alive by the Chargers. Unfortunately, the Steelers are looking good this season….or perhaps they look good against the dismal teams they are playing. I hope for an upset, but I hope for that every week, Steelers by 17.

Indianapolis Colts vs. Jacksonville Jaguars *AFC South Match-up*
Finally, a Monday Night Football worth watching. If Marvin Harrison and Joseph Addai return this week, I think it’s probable that the Jaguars will be crying in their Gatorade by the 4^th quarter. Sure, the Jags are 4-1 but they have played teams like Atlanta and Denver. They haven’t encountered a Colts-like caliber team yet. I don’t see an upset in my crystal ball, Colts by 7.

Filed under: Sports on October 20th, 2007