NFL Week 4: My Predictions

New York Jets vs. Buffalo Bills *AFC East Match-up*

After looking over their schedule, I think it’s entirely possible that it could be December before the Bills put up a W. I’m serious, they might be having the worst season ever. Each week they see more and more injuries, and with the temporary loss of J.P. Losman to a sprained MCL, this week most likely means another loss for the Bills. Perhaps they should put their practice energy into making Get Well cards for Kevin Everett. While Chad Pennington isn’t 100%, I pick the Jets by 3.  

Baltimore Ravens vs. Cleveland Browns *AFC North Match-up*

The Browns and Ravens are both mildly banged up going into this game. However, even though they beat the Bengals, the Browns still suck. Jamal Lewis might say he is looking forward to playing his old team now, but he might change his tune about the third quarter. That being said, I think Steve McNair’s groin is going to “act up�? and I only pick the Ravens by 10.

St. Louis Rams vs. Dallas Cowboys

NFL.com says, “Rams looking for first win against 3-0 Dallas�?. Onestraypea.com says, “Rams will need to look a little further.�? I hate the Cowboys. I hate admitting that they will win. I also hate admitting that Tony Romo isn’t a bad quarterback. These are all things I bet the Rams hate too. That being said, Tony Romo will lead the Cowboys by 21 over the Rams. Better luck next week against the Cardinals, boys.  

Chicago Bears vs. Detroit Lions *NFC North Match-up*

Wow, let’s just recap last week: Not only did Bad Rex show up, Bad Rex had a breakdown. I think his team turned on him like sour milk on a hot summer day. Then Brian Griese started chanting his own name (the crowd followed). Meanwhile, Jon Kitna is having a pretty phenomenal season, has promised Detroit 10 wins, and has already passed for nearly 1,000 yards. I think Detroit has the ability to make this a game, but I probably won’t be holding my breath. Bears by 10.

Oakland Raiders vs. Miami Dolphins

This will probably be a good game; after all, these are two horrible teams. Loud mouthed linebacker, Joey Porter, has promised a Miami win this week. However, I think Joey is forgetting that Trent Green was knocked mildly retarded last year by Robert Geathers and his game still hasn’t recovered. Oakland gets my vote, but only by 3…potential for overtime.

Houston Texans vs. Atlanta Falcons

Ok Houston, you’ve got me, I’m a believer. However, you’re also playing the Falcons, so don’t get so cocky. I think most of Atlanta is probably furious and will still be wearing their Michael Vick jerseys, while simultaneously chanting “Leftwich�?. Houston gets the win by 14, Joey Herrington continues to flush his career down the toilet.

Green Bay Packers vs. Minnesota Vikings *NFC North Match-up*

Brett Farve, where have you been? America has missed you. Viking fans are starting to look as grumpy as their mascot and I don’t foresee smiles in their future. The Fav-Ray isn’t about making records, he’s all about the W and I predict he gets another this week. Green Bay by 10.

Seattle Seahawks vs. San Francisco 49’ers *NFC West Match-up*

Since the Seahawks are my NFC choice, obviously I’ll be choosing them for the win this week over the 49’ers. However, the Seahawks lost to the Cardinals. So because of this, I only pick them by 7.  

Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Carolina Panthers *NFC South Match-up*

The NFC South is turning into an interesting division. The Falcons and the Saints are both sucking, and the Bucs and Panthers are battling for the top spot. While David Carr might get the nod to start against the Panthers, I don’t think he’ll be leading them towards a win. The Buccaneers are taking over the south, and I pick them to win by 14.

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Arizona Cardinals

AGAIN! Pittsburgh has the easiest schedule ever. Seriously, has their season even started yet? I hate the Steelers, I hate the way the announcers fawn all over “Big Ben�?, the most over-rated quarterback in the NFL. Well of course he looks like a superstar now, they haven’t played any decent teams! Le sigh, I am picking the Steelers by 21. Go Cardinals. PS- Matt Leinart, get over the baby mama-drama and play ball, Tom Brady does!

Denver Broncos vs. Indianapolis Colts

I like to refer to this game as, “Denver will not be please, part 2â€??. I don’t think Denver’s defense will stop the run or the passing game from the Colts. Both teams are a bit banged up, but I don’t think we’ll be seeing a Colts upset this week. Colts by 7, but only because I think they tend to keep it close, it’s how they roll.

Kansas City Chiefs vs. San Diego Chargers *AFC West Match-up*

The Chargers are turning it around this week, I feel a win coming on. I think there was the stumble, but they aren’t ready for the fall yet. With battle of the grumpy running backs, I think it’ll be LJ that goes home furious. I am picking the chargers by 10.

Philadelphia Eagles vs. New York Giants *NFC East Match-up*

I might as well just start my own Eli Manning Fan Club. We all know how I feel about Donovan McNabb (the Mr. Glass thing, not the criticism comment), and how I feel about Eli. Plaxico Burress is going to man up, ignore the ankle and play like he means it and I pick the Giants, by 3.

New England Patriots vs. Cincinnati Bengals

Now, I heart WHO DEY! Just as much as everyone else, but a girl’s gotta be realistic. The New England upset is probably not going to happen this week. The Bengals are pretty banged up, especially at linebacker. If they bring the A game all around, it’ll be a close game. If not, I’ll be crying in a corner somewhere just like last year. Here’s to hoping the Patriots only win by 7. My fingers are still crossed for the upset though.