One Stray Pea

Due to the insane amount of studying I’ve been doing I’m going to have to keep this short and sweet. I promise to bring back a healthy dose of football angst next week and apologize for what will be this weeks lameness. Maybe the Bengals will do the same….anyways, on with it.

Kansas City Chiefs vs. Atlanta Falcons

Ahh, a game worth missing. Face it, the Chiefs lost to the Raiders…at home. There’s no excuse for that. Atlanta by 10.

Oakland Raiders vs. Buffalo Bills

There’s a lot of things I wish would happen here, like Trent Edwards getting injured just so I can hear JP Losman again…but that won’t happen. I’d also like the Raiders to win so I could stop hearing about how the Bills are going to take the AFC East and be Super Bowl contenders. That won’t happen either (the Raiders winning, or the Bills being Super Bowl contenders). Bills by 14.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Chicago Bears

I knew that Bears win was just a fluke. They turned around and got beat by Carolina. That’s lame, Urlacher. Predicting this win is like playing darts blind folded. I hope Brian Griese wins just to show Lovie that he should’ve kept him and released those other two bozo’s. Le sigh, Chicago is at home though..so while I cheer for the Bucs, Bears by 3.

Carolina Panters vs. Minnesota Vikings

Gus Frerotte? You’re kidding right? He couldn’t fix the Rams last year…I’m just saying. That alone means Carolina by 17.

Miami Dolphins vs. New England Patriots *AFC East*

Tom Brady is still gone blah blah blah. And the Dolphins are still the Dolphins! You can fix a knee..but for some reason Miami can’t fix terrible playing. Besides, Chad Pennington might look like the Patriots MVP! Patriots by 7.

Cincinnati Bengals vs. New York Giants

Oh Magic 8 Ball, will the Bengals beat the Giants at Giants Stadium after starting 0-2? “My sources say no”. Seriously, if the cramps don’t kill them, their running game will. No way do the Bengals beat Eli and his friends (who can actually play defense by the way). Giants by 21. KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE RUN BENGALS. 2 Pro-Bowl receivers and you run Chris Perry up the middle 90% of the game. Seriously.

Houston Texans vs. Tennessee Titans *AFC South*

Well Cincinnati successfully made Kerry Collins look like a superstar and I think Houston will carry on the tradition. No offense Houston, but you’re not really a football powerhouse. Titans by 21.

Arizona Cardinals vs. Washington Redskins

The Cardinals have started 2-0! The Redskins have started 0-2! Buck stops here boys. I bet Clinton Portis is fire spitting mad. I’m betting his rage will carry the Redskins to victory by the small margin of 7 (or less…)

New Orleans Saints vs. Denver Broncos

The Saints should just send a marching band…with plenty of oxygen tanks. New Orleans will be no match Shanahan’s shenanigans. I wish that guy would dress up like a leprechaun, just once..just for me. Broncos by 24.

Detroit Lions vs. San Francisco 49’ers

Well, SF has a win in their pockets, that’s something. And I bet they get another one this week because I have the feeling the Lions won’t perform well on the West Coast. I can’t believe I’m saying this, 49’ers by 7.

St. Louis Rams vs. Seattle Seahawks *NFC West*

This is the game that Seattle needs to get it together. If they lose to the Rams they might as well join the Canadian Football League. Seattle by 20. You won’t even need wide receivers to beat the Rams.

Cleveland Browns vs. Baltimore Ravens *AFC North*

The Ravens have only showcased their talents once this season so far, against the Bengals. Let that be enough. The Browns will steam roll them, and then Jurevicius will rub his MRSA on them. Browns by 14.

Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Indianapolis Colts *AFC South*

This should actually be an exciting game! The Jags are looking for their first win, the Colts are still trying to piece it all together. Eli is coming home with a win this week, so why not Peyton? Colts by 3.

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Philadelphia Eagles

Coming off of a devastating loss, the Eagles need to bounce back with a win. Why do they NEED to? Because predicting the Steelers to win all the time is giving me a nasty rash. Although cheering for McNabb doesn’t feel much better. Eagles by 14.

Dallas Cowboys vs. Green Bay Packers

Antonio and T.O. are going to Green Bay to drink beer and play football. In that order. I’d like to say that I think Aaron Rogers will start 3-0, but I don’t see it happening. Cowboys by 7.

New York Jets vs. San Diego Chargers

Well, the Chargers have been busy making excuses for why they are 0-2. I get tired of listening to the Chargers make excuses every year for why they are terrible at the beginning of the season and spend the rest of the season fighting for wild card spots. It’s lame, and no one is impressed by you Phil Rivers. However, I’m less impressed by a one-legged unicorn that should’ve stayed retired. Chargers by 17.

Filed under: Sports on September 19th, 2008