One Stray Pea

Here it is, the final regular season predictions, I’m posting early and I won’t even be able to see any of these games. Let’s all shed a tear. Actually, let’s cheer and shout that I’ve been able to keep up with this! Also, there’s a plethora of division games this week, and I don’t think any of them matter. Lame.

New England Patriots vs. New York Giants
Now, we all know that I love Eli and that I hate Tom, however I’m no dumb-dumb. Even Tom Coughlin laughed at the prospect of the Giants beating the Patriots. With Matt Shockey gone, a Giants win is completely out of the question. Just the thought is absurd. Look on the bright side Eli, you won’t have to see Tom’s face again until you get to the Super Bowl. Patriots by 24.

Buffalo Bills vs. Philadelphia Eagles
Two teams just playing for fun. Donovan has something to prove, but Trent and friends aren’t likely to drop two in a row. About as likely as the Eagles are to win 3 in a row. Something else that would just be absurd this this week of doesn’t matter games. I shrug my shoulders and put on my no-care face for this game. Bills by 7.

Carolina Panthers vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers *NFC South Match-Up*
Here’s a division game that doesn’t matter in the slightest! The Panthers have had all sorts of quarterback drama this year, to the point that they were willing to bring back old Vinny. Meanwhile Tampa Bay managed to lose to San Francisco. What’s that all about? Clinch the division, turn into suck? I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to work going into the playoffs boys, just a thought. Tampa Bay by 14.

Cincinnati Bengals vs. Miami Dolphins
Well, we saw what Derek Anderson could do for the Bengals, let’s see what Cleo Lemon can bring to Cincy’s table. As long as it isn’t a win, I don’t care. Everyone is playing for fun, except TJ, who is playing for pro-bowl practice. Chad Johnson returns home to Miami to kiss his grandma and hopefully help out his team for a win. Cincinnati by 10.

Tennessee Titans vs. Indianapolis Colts *AFC South Match-Up*
This game doesn’t matter for the Colts at all, Tony Dungee already said Peyton won’t play any more than one half. Meanwhile the Titans are depending on a win to take the wild card spot. What’s up with the AFC South having the potential to rule the playoffs? It’s a tough division that Manning is rocking. While I hope for a Titans win (I would love to see the Browns blow it in the end), I don’t think it’ll happen unless Tony takes a LOT of guys out early. Colts by 7.

Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Houston Texans *AFC South Match-Up*
Puh-lease. Jacksonville is hot hot hot right now and you want me to believe that some guy named Sage is going to beat them? No way. The Jaguars are ridiculous in these past few weeks, and eating the Steelers alive only added to the fury. That AFC South is a tough place to be. Jaguars by 20.

Detroit Lions vs. Green Bay Packers *NFC North Match-Up*
It’s a good thing for Kitna that the Lions fans don’t care enough to show up at home games, much less away games. Otherwise , kick off at 1:00 p.m. /EST, Kitna eaten by real live lions approx 4:30p.m./EST. You think I’m kidding? After not coming through on his 10 game promise, fans are looking for a new quarterback. Not that Kitna shouldn’t be looking for a new career, he’ll be 36 next year and he’s not exactly the next Brett Favre. Even though they dropped it in Chicago, Green Bay will pick it up this week with a win, by 14, over Detroit.

Dallas Cowboys vs. Washington Redskins *NFC East Match-Up*
This is a game that could turn very interesting. The Redskins are somehow still in the wild card hunt, which would make the NFC East look just as tough as the AFC South. Meanwhile T.O is out with a high ankle sprain, and fans and sports announcers alike wonder if the Cowboys should risk Tony Romo’s precious thumb next week. Well ‘boys that depends, do you want to see the Redskins in the playoffs or not? Just a question. Overall, I still think the Cowboys will come out on top, by 10.

Seattle Seahawks vs. Atlanta Falcons
Are the Falcons really still playing? Really? Why? Save yourselves the embarrassment and just go home. Oh wait, bad idea, Bobby Petrino did that and Shannon Sharpe awarded him a bag of coal for Christmas. Although I wish someone would’ve shoved that coal in Shannon Sharpe’s mouth, as Shannon hearted Michael Vick up until this past summer. My how things change. Seattle has a great record against losing teams, so it’s a pretty safe bet that they’ll be winning. Seahawks by 21.

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Baltimore Ravens *AFC North Match-Up*
If Troy Smith doesn’t get another start this week I vote that Brian Billick resign. Seriously, that kid is the Ravens future and everyone besides Brian admits it. That being said, this game means nothing. The Steelers have already won the division and the Ravens don’t have a chance of beating them no matter who plays quarterback. That team fell apart long before they gave Miami their first win. Steelers by 21.

New Orleans Saints vs. Chicago Bears
NFC Championship rematch! The only difference, the Bears are without their quarterback, Rex. This probably works in their favor. After destroying Green Bay somehow, the Bears are ready to take on the Saints, who got destroyed by the Eagles. What? I know, just follow me. Basically what we have here is two teams who are playing for fun because they’re playoff hopes are done. These are also two of the most inconsistent teams in the NFL this season. I don’t even know who to pick realistically, so I’m picking the Saints because I like them more. Saints by 10.

San Francisco 49′ers vs. Cleveland Browns
Cleveland should be coasting into the wild card with this one, however, after blowing it in Cincinnati, Derek Anderson has some work to do. No joke, he was the Bengals MVP last week. He may have completed more passes to Bengals than Carson Palmer. After an upset against Tampa Bay, the 49′ers seemingly have a remote chance to actually beat the Browns this week. I know, it’s amazing, and unlikely. Let’s use our brains here, Browns by 14. Romeo Crennel won’t let Derek Anderson play so poorly two weeks in a row, not without #3 becoming part of a sandwich, RAWR!

Minnesota Vikings vs. Denver Broncos
After dropping it at home against the Redskins, Minnesota is probably just playing for fun at this point as well. This is really the time of the season where guys just start playing like it’s grandma’s backyard. I really think the Vikings will drop this one too, based on the fact that they’ll have to actually play outside. Also because they’ll be playing outside in Denver and won’t be able to breathe. Sorry Vikes, maybe next year. Broncos by 10.

St. Louis Rams vs. Arizona Cardinals *NFC West Match-Up*
Boring. The Rams are terrible and the Cardinals are inconsistent. They almost dropped one to Atlanta, at home. That’s terrible. Even the Rams could’ve done a better job. Which means that next week the Cardinals will play like it’s a playoff game and blow the Rams away. Arizona by 17.

San Diego Chargers vs. Oakland Raiders *AFC West Match-Up*
Yes, the Raiders still have a team. Whether or not they are still playing is debatable. The Chargers will get some pre-playoff practice runs against the Raiders and then most likely will rest most of their starters for the second half. No sense in risking Phil Rivers or LT ya know? Even without the stars, Oakland will look like a D-3 college team. And a bad one at that. San Diego by 14.

Kansas City Chiefs vs. New York Jets
This is a game that is so boring it’s no longer an evening game. It’s been replaced by a game people actually want to watch. Surprisingly sucky teams this year, the Chiefs and the Jets are sort of just battling out the bad in the AFC. Jets fans turned on Eric Mangini about 2 months ago and with all of the running back crap in Kansas City, they cease to care as well. But let’s be honest, the only team the Jets can beat is the Dolphins. That’s no a compliment boys. Chiefs by 21.

Filed under: Sports on December 23rd, 2007