One Stray Pea

Man, these Thursday night games are really throwing me off.

  Pittsburgh Steelers vs. St. Louis Rams
I’m not sure that this game even matters. The Rams aren’t going to beat the Steelers. As much as I would love to believe it’s possible, it’s not. This game looks to be boring and uneventful. Steelers by 21. Announcers to show nothing but love for Big Ben, rest of America to wonder why.

 Dallas Cowboys vs. Carolina Panthers
My guess would be that Matt Moore will start for the Panthers. I don’t think it will matter. After the Cowboys lost in “Jessica-gate�? last week, they will not allow another loss to a second rate team. If Tony plays as bad this week as he did last week, look for T.O. to slap him in the huddle, and then flick off Jessica Simpson. She’s the most hated person in Dallas right now you know? Cowboys by 20. Yes math whiz, that means field goals, Pro-Bowl or not, T.O. still can’t catch.

 Houston Texans vs. Indianapolis Colts *AFC South Match-up*
The Colts are injured, but after clinching a first round bye, I don’t believe they are THAT hurt. I think they are just saving people for the play offs. Smart move, especially when playing the Houston Texans. This game might be close, but it won’t stop Peyton. Colts by 7.

 Green Bay Packers vs. Chicago Bears *AFC North Match-Up*
Wow a 3 game losing streak must leave an awful taste in Brian Urlacher’s mouth. I wonder what the 4 game losing steak tastes like? I suppose I can ask #54 after Sunday’s game. Let’s be honest, the “Brett Pack�? is led by a magical unicorn. The Packers have momentum, the Bears have a  handful of terrible quarterbacks. Packers by 14.

 Cleveland Browns vs. Cincinnati Bengals *AFC North Match-Up*
The Bengals are just playing for fun at this point. However, I’m a little torn. I would love for the Browns to win to hang in there for the AFC title. But I hate the Browns. The realistic side of me realizes that Jamal Lewis might run all over the Bengals. The loyal side of me says play like ya just don’t care. Bengals by 7.

 Oakland Raiders vs. Jacksonville Jaguars
The poor Raiders. From Indy to Jacksonville? That’s a terrible schedule. Well, terrible when you suck as much as the Raiders do. I think the Raiders have been playing for fun all season, unfortunately it’s just not been much fun. Seriously, this is a game so boring it doesn’t deserve to be televised. Jags by 21.

 New York Giants vs. Buffalo Bills
This is the Giants best chance to clinch a wild car spot. They won’t beat New England next week. It’s just not possible. With Matt Shockey done for the season, it makes Eli’s job a little bit more difficult. The Giants have a lot more to play for at this point than the Bills do. I’m picking the Giants of course, but only by 7 or less.

Kansas City Chiefs vs. Detroit Lions
Jon Kitna can’t make good on his 10 win promise, win or lose, he’d be wise to go into hiding right now. To avoid some sort of Detroit-rigged Lions den, Jon Kitna had better step up his game this week against the even worse Chiefs. However, I doubt it. Chiefs by 7.

 Philadelphia Eagles vs. New Orleans Saints
The Eagles had a surprising win last week. What won’t be surprising is when they lose to the Saints this week. The Saints have a shot at the playoffs, the Eagles have a shot at hearing Donovan McNabb whine some more. Hmm, which is more appealing? Saints by 10.

 Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. San Francisco 49’ers
So the Bucs are going to the playoffs? Sounds like a one and out to me. This game doesn’t matter, but in all honesty no one other than the Bengals loses to San Fran. It’s terrible but true. Tampa Bay by 17.

 Atlanta Falcons vs. Arizona Cardinals
So the league is throwing the Cardinals a bone with a late season guarantee win I guess.  The Falcons are so terrible that the majority of the focus is still on Michael Vick. I guess Arthur Blank likes it that way, because it takes the focus off of how bad his team sucks. Cardinals by 17.

 New York Jets vs. Tennessee Titans
Why are the Jets even still playing? Haven’t they been embarrassed enough this year? Oh, it was probably that win over Miami that gave them more hope. Dear Jets, it was MIAMI. That being said, Vince Young will have a record rushing day against the Jets. Pitiful. Titans by 14.

 Baltimore Ravens vs. Seattle Seahawks
Oh please. The Ravens couldn’t beat Miami, what makes anyone think they will beat the Seahawks at Qwest Field? My friend Brian is STILL starting the Kyle-bot, despite excellent performances by Troy Smith. I think it’ll be ugly. Seahawks by 21.

 Miami Dolphins vs. New England Patriots *AFC East Match-Up*
Oh please part 2. Let’s not get our hopes up for a Miami winning streak. They might be able to play against Baltimore, in Miami, but they will NOT beat the Patriots in Massachusetts.  Jason Taylor probably has his hopes up because Tom Brady is on the injured list for like the 87^th straight game. It’s lame Bill, not funny anymore. The Patriots might win by 100. But I’ll be more realistic and just say 34.

 Washington Redskins vs. Minnesota Vikings
This is actually a game to watch. I think the Redskins still think they have a playoff chance, which they don’t..but they’re still dreaming. The Vikings showed resilience last week against Chicago. The Redskins beat Chicago as well. I think we have ourselves an even match here! Vikings by 7.

 Denver Broncos vs. San Diego Chargers *AFC West Match-Up*
The last time these two teams met, Mike Shanahan was embarrassed. I don’t predict this meeting to me anymore pleasurable. The Broncos have no reason left to play. The Chargers are probably going to bite it in the first round of the playoffs, They are just wanting to have fun, you know, ‘cause that’s what girls want. Chargers by 21.

Filed under: Sports on December 20th, 2007