One Stray Pea

So, my husband thinks it’s a good idea for me to hon my psychic skills and make predictions about football each week. My previous track record with actually sticking with things isn’t that great, so we’ll see how it goes. That being said, here’s my predictions for week 1:

New England Patriots vs. New York Jets *AFC EAST MATCH-UP*
Perhaps we should call it the home field disadvantage, as Tom Brady has never lost a game at the Meadowlands and I wouldn’t anticipate him to start now. I vote Patriots all the way.

Denver Broncos vs. Buffalo Bills
Dear Mike Shanahan, just save your first string this week, except Jay Cutler because he needs the experience. No need in risking a Champ Bailey injury against J.P. Losman and those dismal Bills. Again, no contest.

Tennessee Titans vs. Jacksonville Jaguars *AFC SOUTH MATCH-UP*
I think we have a fairly even match-up with this one, so perhaps it will be a good game. My choice is the Titans in a close one, mainly because I think Vince Young will do a better job of controlling the game.

Philadelphia Eagles vs. Green Bay Packers
Brett, why? Why are you still playing? STOP! It hurts us to see how far the mighty have fallen. However, I’m on the fence on this match-up, I mean, have you read Donovan McNabb’s injury report? Who is this guy, Mr. Glass? I vote Brett Fav-Ray to take the Eagles, just barely..unless Kimo Von Oelhoffen gets a hold of him first.

Kansas City Chiefs vs. Houston Texans
Honestly, I can’t name a single player for the Texans, that’s how bad they are. While Larry Johnson hasn’t had much training or practice this year, I think Herm Edwards should just call this “Larry Johnson’s training camp,” and be done with it. Seriously, the Texans…can we annex them to the NFC yet? Chiefs all the way.

Carolina Panthers vs. St. Louis Rams
Honestly, I don’t know anything about either of these two teams. I had to get on NFL.com just to find out who plays for them, and pretty much, I’m going Panthers. For no real reason, just because I rule this site and I say so.
Miami Dolphins vs. Washington Redskins
I pick Clinton Portis and the Redskins to take over the Dolphins, because the Dolphins have a new QB in Trent Green, who as you might recall got ROCKED in the season opener last year against the Bengals. They’ve acquired Joey Porter from the Steelers on defense, but this leaves me unimpressed. Again, I vote Redskins.

Atlanta Falcons vs. Minnesota Vikings
Another even match-up, while the Vikings defense isn’t exactly the, “Purple People Eaters,” anymore, I predict they can hold their own against an Atlanta offense that lost their QB/#1 rusher. Now they’re stuck with Joey Herrington, who got replaced by Jon Kitna..’nuff said. However, the Vikings offense is worse than Joey Herrington, I vote Falcons on this one.

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Cleveland Browns *AFC NORTH MATCH-UP*
I’d love to burn a terrible towel, but it’s clear that the Browns don’t have a chance. If it’s brown, flush it down.

Detriot Lions vs. Oakland Raiders
In the Sunday version of Battle of the Bad, I choose Jon Kitna and the Lions. The Raiders are relying on Daunte Culpepper…Go Lions.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Seattle Seahawks
My vote is definitely for Seattle, because the Seahawks are my vote for NFC Champs this year. Yes, I’m going with Seattle over the Bears and the Saints.

Chicago Bears vs. San Diego Chargers
Do I even need to say who I predict here? Chargers all the way. Brian Urlacher will NOT be carrying to Bears this season, I predict a LaDainian field day.

New York Giants vs. Dallas Cowboys *NFC EAST MATCH-UP*
It’s really a shame Dallas is going to have to lose the opener to the Giants. I’m calling for an Eli Manning break-out season, with the help of Plaxico Burress. Also, I’d like to be the realist to everyone on the Tony Romo bandwagon. He’s the next Ben Roethlisberger, only Tony won’t be winning a Super Bowl in between his break-out season and his downward spiral season. And can someone explain why the Cowboys are part of the AFC East? Makes no sense.

Baltimore Ravens vs. Cincinnati Bengals
I have to go with the underdog Bengals on this one. Steve McNair, Ray Lewis, yeah yeah, I’m not impressed. If the Bengals can hold their defense together for the entire game, Bengals will win, no doubt WHO DEY! PS - Ray Lewis, please, leave your knives at home.

Arizona Cardinals vs. San Francisco 49′ers *NFC WEST MATCH-UP*
Who picked these two for Monday Night Football? I am going to refer to this as Monday’s Battle of the Bad’s and since I don’t think the Cardinals have a prayer’s chance, I’m voting the 49′ers.

Filed under: Sports on September 8th, 2007