Kathy Hilton…put your bra on!!

So, I play rec. volleyball and each week the winning team gets some sort of coupon for a free pitcher of beer at this bar, Mulligans. I don’t go for 2 reasons: a) being a non-drinker, there has to be a promise for good book fodder to get me to hang out at a bar (Hofbrauhaus doesn’t count because it always provides fodder) and b) judging by it’s location (close proximity to Hyde Park), I can only assume it’s full of XU fratty’s who will make me bleed from the ears and reach for the nearest utensil with which to stab the ole’ jugular. So anyways…(long drawn out unfunny jokes I know Aaron, stop complaining) over the weekend someone was shot at Mulligan’s THEN in a stroke of pure genius, Aaron decides to go eat lunch there. This is like the time the S.W.A.T. team was across the street and we decided to sit on the lawn and watch. I think from now on when the volleyball lady waves that Mulligan’s coupon around asking “do you guys want your free beer�? she should just says “you guys want to endanger your lives?�? Oh yeah, P.S. everyone I’m not a HUGE fan of the eastside either….

THEN another shooting, not in one of the previously mentioned non-news areas, Mt. Healthy. Although it wasn’t previously mentioned, a shooting in Mt. Healthy, Compton Groves of all places is really not surprising. I mean, I think they are desperately trying to parallel the L.A. Compton, as far as Midwest standards go for gangs and murders.

A Hamilton man involved in a drug ring?? Oh, say it aint so! I mean, to be quite honest, the only shocker here is that it was not a meth ring, but rather a coke ring. Then to top the brilliance of the outer tri-state area, 2 Middletown teens steal a cab at knife point? Who steals a taxi? It’s not like they inconspicuous, they are big and bright yellow. Plus, if you are 18 driving a cab, everyone knows you stole it. Then they flipped said cab over. I applaud the brilliance. I think a douche bag of the week award is in order, and it’s only Wednesday.

So, apparently trash is interstate commerce, thus protected by the constitution. Hmm, ok. Apparently other states are now dumping trash in Ohio. That’s cute guys, REAL CUTE. I think this a political statement from democrats, still bitter of the election results. I bet it’s friggin’ Indiana and Kentucky, you can’t trust those people. You know, democratic rednecks.

I want to know how this is headline qualifies as weird news: “100 Year Old Marries Younger Woman.�? What was he supposed to do, wait around for a 101 year old woman?! Seriously! It’s not like he’s going to find anyone who’s NOT younger. Although, I’d be weary of marrying a 100 year old man, since he’s twice a widower..he might be literally have the kiss of death, but I wish them the best. Old people are so cute and feisty.

Oh yeah..and kudos go out to Kelly Clarkson, for biting the hand that fed her & Ray Nagin for being stupid….again.