Judas’ Story, Tased Pigs, Grillz & Greasy Mexicans (literally!)

SWEET! After thousands of years there’s a new book of the Bible. “The Gospel of Judas�?. I’m so excited to hear Judas’ side of the story, all I can really think is that feminist bumper sticker Dr. Luecke had “Eve was framed.�? Only..Judas instead of Eve. According to the document Judas defends his betrayal stating he did only what Jesus told him to do. So..Dear Judas, If you were fulfilling the Lord’s request, why did you hang yourself? Just Wondering.

Oh, this is awesome! Live pigs are being used to test military taser guns. I love it!! I’m sure PETA does too…There’s a video @ wlwt.com under the weird news section. This PETA lady is all “boo-hoo WAAAA! The pigs are clearly screaming!�?. Ok, PETA you come up with a better solution, no wait..because I have one. Why doesn’t the Dept. of Defense start testing different taser devices on members of PETA. Then they’ll shut up about animal testing and the rest of us can be happy that we don’t have to listen to them whine. Honestly, the only people who would volunteer to be the subject for taser studies aren’t mentally stable. Therefore, they aren’t qualified to sign the informed consent papers and won’t be allowed to participate in the study. Thanks Ron White, for all the health care ethics knowledge….and that anal raping, it was much appreciated.

Remember the one eyed kitty?? (see blog archive: Jan. 13, 2006). It’s going to be a museum centerpiece. I just wish I could say the word Kitty without thinking of that song by Presidents of the United States blah blah…you know..the song that wasn’t Lump. This was all really irrelevant.

In a news story that I’m surprised didn’t come from Cincinnati, but rather Tacoma WA, federal agents wanted to seize the gold tooth caps from 2 suspected drug dealers. Apparently, dental work (almost) qualified as assets that can be seized. The druggies were actually in the car on the way to a local dentist before a judge stopped laughing long enough to pound the gavel. Apparently there is some confusion about these teeth: The prosecutors wanted the gold caps as evidence (can you hide crack in your caps?) and believed that they slipped on and off like a retainer. Yes, some do..however, not all of them. Congrats on the research guys. The defense was concerned for the dental health of their client and persuaded the judge to stop the nonsense because “it would damage their teeth to remove the caps�?. Who cares? $100 says their dental hygiene is less than acceptable to begin with, so who cares if their teeth are damaged or not?

Quote of the day: “The gold-capped teeth known as “Grills�? have been made populare by some rappers.�?

Only in California: a principal (my hero) greased to fence of his high-school with wheel-bearing grease in order to deter students from skipping class. Why were they skipping? To join the immigration protests. That’s classic right there. Here’s a better tactic: Just hire guys to wear INS jackets and stand outside the school, that’ll keep the kids inside. However, the tactic wasn’t very successful as 300 students left anyways. Pissed off, illegal immigrant parents are upset because their kids ended up covered in grease. Well, then maybe they should stay in school..or better yet, maybe your family should’ve stayed in Mexico. Freaking aliens. They are worse than the homeless.