I Need a Vacation From This Vacation…

And we haven’t even left yet.

About five months ago I approached my husband with the idea of taking a nice vacation this summer. King Frugal was actually willing to open his wallet and let the moths out to have a little fun, YAY! Immediately my vacation wheels started turning about all the places I wanted to go. Initially, I really wanted to go to Colorado, because I love the mountains. Then we discussed Wyoming, Yellowstone National Park, Cape Cod, Niagara Falls and somehow we settled on a trip to California. There have been several evenings spent planning and organizing, and honestly, I didn’t put this much effort into my wedding. Hey, I’ve got priorities.

So now it is vacation eve and I predict no less than 3 fights today with my husband. Actually, the first one is already brewing. When a wife says to her husband, “you barely have enough undershirts to last from now until next Saturday,�? that does not mean, “Husband, please go home and promptly change your undershirt so now you won’t have enough to last.�? He’s lucky I’m so sweet; otherwise I’d make him go dirty and stinky. Actually, I just don’t want to be stuck on a plane next to him for 5 hours when he’s dirty and stinky. If he was sitting by other people, it’d be another story.

Fight number two will be close behind. I’ve asked my husband repeatedly to set out clothes that he wants to wear next week. I’ve been repeatedly answered by my husband whistling “ABC�? by the Jackson 5. Then at random he will squeal out, “Come on come on come on let me show you what it’s all about.�? OBNOXIOUS. The worst part, he’s only doing it to irritate me, yet he won’t stop until I yell at him (there’s the catch-22). Then he shuts up for 11.3 seconds (long enough to laugh at me), and starts over. I think this time I am going to let him go naked, I’m quite tired of staying up all night to pack.

Finally, our third fight is going to be over something I forgot to do, amongst the 30 bajillion other things I was busy doing while my husband sat and picked his nose and whistled the Jackson 5’s greatest hits. This third fight might also not happen until we get to California and he realizes that I didn’t pack him any socks. Then I’ll snip at him, “If you’d have set out clothes instead of ABC-ing all day this wouldn’t have happened!�?

This is going to be the best vacation ever!