I Could Kick a Goat
This one REALLY irks me. I could just kick a goat, but I’ll probably just be kicking the person doing this one. I can’t stand those people who just stop in doorways. I do not understand this phenomenon at all. It’s as if someone pulled the plug on these boobs and they lose the ability to function in the middle of the doorway! It kind of reminds me of that old show “Small Wonders” with the robot girl…only ten times more irritating. Usually it’s someone on their cell phone, which prompts me to yell something along the lines of “get out of the way!” or “how hard is it to walk AND talk?”. Sometimes I don’t say anything, I choose to body check them instead. I’m a person of little mass so I use this tactic sparingly, only for those I know can’t beat me up. I’m so tough until I think someone might jack my jaw. It’s all fun in games until I get knocked out.
Along the same lines of people who stop in doorways is the people who push and shove their way through not very crowded places for no good reason. If you bump into my with your shopping cart in the U-Scan at Meijer there’s a 99.9% chance that I will not only slow down my transaction, but I will look at you and say “and yes, I am taking my sweet time, wanna bump me again?” Or, a trick I learned from my dad, if your kid is pushing into me (or my friends) repeatedly in a store (or the U.S. Mint in D.C.) be warned, I’m the Queen of the nonchalant trip. If your kid falls and busts his face on the floor, I don’t care, teach that brat not to push. And for the love of all that’s good, keep him out of the doorway!
oh yeah, they’re calling for some sort of sleet & ice and possibly 4-8 or 6-10 (depends on the weather station) inches of snow tomorrow. You can imagine my excitement I’m sure.
Filed under: Hate on February 11th, 2007
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