H-A-R-D-G-U-Y

So, Aaron and I were watching the Olympics. They intermittently will do these spotlights on the athletes, which is just an annoying way to ensure they fill their 3 hours of time. So this kid is like 18, and he’s all blah blah, I say things that the more republican people don’t like, and people who don’t like it can eat me. He is 100% convinced he is one tough cookie. Well, he’s not, he’s a friggin’ FIGURE SKATER. You know, I would rather my kid be the loser of the special Olympics than win Gold as a male figure skater. Can you even be a hard guy when you’re wearing glitter and sequins? Is it allowed?

Let me break down some male figure skating for you: men + glitter + tights. Oh yeah, and make-up. Then, while they are wearing glitter, tights and make up they skip and twirl around on ice. After they are done skipping and twirling and dancing all around, crazy people throw flowers and bears at them. Where is the Mr. T in this activity? Since when do these things entitle one to act like a hard guy?

Now, I know you’re all wondering why I didn’t change the channel when figure skating was on, since I obviously think it’s a sissy sport and should be no boys allowed. Allow me to explain. I love to watch figure skating because there’s always a chance that someone is going to get seriously hurt. Especially when you are watching the pairs figure skating. This all dates back to Lillehammer Winter Olympics, where my mom and I watched this guy drop the girl on her face, she was busted up..there was blood and everything. While they cried over their sunken Olympic dreams, mom and I laughed until we cried at their misfortune. Even if no one gets hurt, if they fall they still have to skate around with a clump of ice on their glittery behinds..and that makes me smile too. Basically, I watch figure skating for the falls. The other night, I got to watch the American girl slide across the ice on her chin, a Chinese girl nearly tear her ACL, fall on her head, and then slide into the wall (that team won a silver medal…which should not be allowed), then they showed video of the Russian team from 2 years ago, where the guy dropped the girl and she landed on her head and got knocked out. Her limp body just keeps sliding across the ice, mostly on her forehead. So THAT is why I watch figure skating.