Grillz, Babies and STD’s.

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This cat’s got his grillz on! No joke. A dentist in Indiana (Indiana WOULD have this guy..) has put gold teeth on his 1 year old cat. Apparently the cat has a serious under bite and the dentists cat just can’t have that. He claims that the teeth would break off if not reinforced by the grillz. I’m not buying it. What I think happened was this dentists was like, “Wifey, can I pimp my ride?” and she was like “Jigga no” and he was like “Hoe please..” and pimped the cat instead. Just FYI, in case you were considering this for your own pets (I know you were), the cost for pet grillz is comparable to human grillz at $900 per tooth (this is for gold caps, NOT that little retainer jazz that people put over their teeth.) This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I’ll put my dogs to sleep before I pay $900 to reinforce their teeth and make them look stupid. I believe this purchase to be completely foolish for 2 reasons: 1, it’s a cat. Cats hate people. This cat will never apprecaite its gold teeth. 2, Cats have that Fancy Feast crap that just a bunch of mush. They don’t even NEED teeth because they can just gum that stuff down. If this guy can afford gold teeth for his kitty, surely he can afford something better than a stale bag of Sam’s Choice Kitty Food. Good news though, veterinarians say that gold crowns can be put on a pet without any dental problems. Awesome! Where’s Daisy?!

Canton, Ohio is very busy…getting it’s GROOVE on! Last year 65 of 490 girls at a high school in Canton were pregnant. In response, the school has decided it’s high time to expand it’s sex education programs to address the issue. The new curriculum will continue to teach abstinence, but will add teaching kids to be responsible with their sexual choices. Wow! What a brilliant idea! Not that I’m an advocate for premarital sex, but I think it should be assumed that a lot of teenagers are going to fool around at some point. When 13% of your female student body is pregnant, it’s a safe bet that an even larger percent was getting pretty lucky. I went to a Baptist school and there were pregnant girls there too! It also sounds like this school stole textbooks straight from my high school locker. Apparently the school also feels the need to replace health books that are older than some of the students. One teacher says, “If we had math books from 1988, reading books from 1988, as a parent, I would be furious.�? Hmm, at Landmark if we’d had books published in 1988 my parents would have been elated. No lie, seventh grade Ohio History book, copyright 1969. A girl in our class said her mom had used the exact same book when she was in junior high. And since when were kids in high school born after 1988?! I’ve finally reached that point where I was in school before these kids were even born. Let’s have a sad moment of old silence…..

Just so you know, the current Ohio state curriculum doe not require sex education, but it does require STD ed, which is generally lumped together with nutrition, drugs and alcohol education. They’re doing an awesome job considering how obese kids are these days, plus how many kids are huffing, snorting, and smoking everything in sight. I bet this class goes something like this, “Kids, eat fruits and veggies, don’t drink or smoke da’ ganja, oh..and those bumps down there, ask yer momma.â€??The Canton Health Department statistics through July 2005 show that 104 of the 586 babies born between 2 hospitals were born to mothers between 11 and 19. 11! When I was 11 I barely knew what sex was, much less was I even considering having it nor was I capable of understanding it’s implications. It’s times like this when I embrace my naïve upbringing.