Which is not a good thing when life is imitating “Super Troopers�?. Headline reads, “Officers Ignored Calls, Played Video Game, Chief Says.�? I’ll give you one guess what department these fine officers work for, yeah, I said work…because they haven’t been fired yet.
Life Imitates Art
Why I Moved: Pt. 3 – Cars in the Lawn
So I was reading the local news websites, looking for blog fodder and boy did I come across a gem! A car crashed into a house near the intersection of Montana & Anaconda, and I thought, “Hmm, I used to live near that intersection.” So I did a little more digging on other news websites
As you can see, there is clearly a car parked into a house. No, that is NOT my old house, that’s my neighbor. That black strip, that’s my old driveway. According to the video I watched, this super (drunk) douche plowed through the fence of my previous home and crashed into my neighbors house. The driver then fled the scene. I think that brings new meaning to 40 oz. to freedom. $50 says CPD can’t manage to find him either. So glad I moved.
Why I Moved: Pt. 2 – Gun Fights
So what kind of person starts a gun fight on the interstate? An IGNORANT person, that’s who. Don’t we encounter this same potential for violence every time a rapper comes to town? As I recall, the first time 50 Cent performed here the whole town was up in arms over the potential for gun violence. I believe there had been gun violence at several of his previous shows. Although, I laughed the potential violence off as “it’s just another reason for people in Cincinnati to shoot each other.”
I don’t care WHAT started the fight, I just want to let my feelings be known. WHO STARTS A GUN FIGHT WHILE GETTING ON THE INTERSTATE?! Is there nothing better to do at 3 in the morning than to go around shooting people? I guess the Po-Po was too busy saving OTR (which again begs the question WHY? Let it burn already, trust me..the locals will take care of that) to be outside the always crime-ridden Club Ritz. I have an idea for how the situation should’ve been handled: barricade the idiots in and let them kill each other, last one standing goes to jail and the world is a better place with about 20 less ignorant people. No one listens to me.
Best part: CPD says that the entourage did indeed return fire, but they don’t expect to file charges. That’s a great message Cincinnati, “Come to our city, act like an untrained baboon, get out of jail free.” New City Slogan! “Please come and attempt to kill that locals, if you don’t someone else will.” Where’s Super-Mayor Mallory on this one?
I’m not at all shocked that some boob brings 2 or 3 vans full of people to follow him around, and then they end up in a fight with the locals. I wonder if this is what happens in the south at a country-western bar post-Kenny Chesney concert? Although, rednecks would rather spit chew and throw down..rifles don’t fit in those tight wranglers…
Cincinnati is going CRAZY!
It’s been a CRAZY week in
Aaron & I were just watching the local news and someone was shot in the neck about 2 miles from our house. Aaron’s response “and people wonder why I’m in a hurry to move outta here…”
Bowling
So, bowling is the new pink. No Joke. So, we go bowling every Sunday, because it’s cheap fun…..and better than hookers, with slightly less chance of picking up a disease. So anyways..we bowl.
So, tonight we are bowling and this group of annoying girls and one boy come over and start bowling on the lane next to us. First, they are like 19, then the one girl starts attempting to flirt with Aaron. I liked when she goes “Can I use your ball” and Aaron’s like “jigga what”. No, he didn’t really say that…I was thinking it though. THEN this weird girl keeps talking to me & my friend. She was all about telling us how we can all share the balls and then I bowl a strike and this weirdo is like “yeah girl, brush your shoulders off” Yeah..ladies is pimps too..I’m a “true playa” because I have my own bowling shoes. I love attracting idiots.
I’m still mourning the loss of my ball…”The Lynn”, “The Grape”, “The Purple Monster”…oh Brunswick Fling, what pawn shop are you in? Le Sigh..

I’ve decided that there needs to be a bowling ball hate crime, and Capt. Bowl here will be the one to commit said hate crime.

Why I’m Moving: Vol. 1
So yeah, we’re moving. Not because my street is inhabited by 93% black people, not because the S.W.A.T. team likes to play across the street, not because of that guy who got shot in a crack fight and then got run over by a car, not because we got robbed..but because ALL of these things. There’s only so much humor that can be had by being INSIDE the police tape because someone else inside that tape is a gun-wielding, crack-snorting retard, and his helmet is missing.
Here’s a forgotten picture that should’ve gone with my last post, slightly modified, here is the senior citizen who was arrested for a 1978 murder:
I repeat, this is not a bad joke..it’s my life
So, I live in the ghetto. I mean it, I absolutely live in the ghetto. Previously my attitude had been, “I’m not a target for angry black angst because I am white and don’t smoke crack, therefore since I don’t owe them any drug money they will probably leave me alone.” I just want everyone to know if you ever live in the ghetto that sort of thinking will also probably get you robbed. How do I know this? Oh yeah, because it got me robbed.
- One of the douche bags left their house key in my car, I found it by the drivers seat. I hope this means the guy had to run home and kick in his own door.
- I have their coats. It got very cold over the weekend, and I hope they had to freeze all the way to Deveroe’s to steal more coats.
- They stole a bowling ball that is over 30 years old. They left the shoes and bag. The shoes & bag are new and probably worth more than the ball. Plus the ball has a name on it, and it’s bright purple. It’s not exactly easy to disguise.
- I like to believe this was the series of events: Jay Jay & Wee Wee are driving along, get pulled over by police. Jay Jay is driving, Wee Wee is eating a hot dog. Jay Jay yells, “Wee Wee! Put down that dog playa! We gots to run foo!” Then while Wee Wee is messing with the seat belt, the hot dog falls out of the bun, and he is left to run through the streets with an empty hot dog bun and a bowling ball.
- The reason the police didn’t catch them: The neighborhood where they jumped from the car is full of young African American men without jobs. They all wear the same thing: dark blue jeans, white t-shirts and boots. So, I’m sure it was like “Where’s Waldo” and the police were like “whatever, we got the car back.”
