About five months ago I approached my husband with the idea of taking a nice vacation this summer. King Frugal was actually willing to open his wallet and let the moths out to have a little fun, YAY! Immediately my vacation wheels started turning about all the places I wanted to go. Initially, I really wanted to go to Colorado, because I love the mountains. Then we discussed Wyoming, Yellowstone National Park, Cape Cod, Niagara Falls and somehow we settled on a trip to California. There have been several evenings spent planning and organizing, and honestly, I didn’t put this much effort into my wedding. Hey, I’ve got priorities.

So now it is vacation eve and I predict no less than 3 fights today with my husband. Actually, the first one is already brewing. When a wife says to her husband, “you barely have enough undershirts to last from now until next Saturday,�? that does not mean, “Husband, please go home and promptly change your undershirt so now you won’t have enough to last.�? He’s lucky I’m so sweet; otherwise I’d make him go dirty and stinky. Actually, I just don’t want to be stuck on a plane next to him for 5 hours when he’s dirty and stinky. If he was sitting by other people, it’d be another story.

Fight number two will be close behind. I’ve asked my husband repeatedly to set out clothes that he wants to wear next week. I’ve been repeatedly answered by my husband whistling “ABC�? by the Jackson 5. Then at random he will squeal out, “Come on come on come on let me show you what it’s all about.�? OBNOXIOUS. The worst part, he’s only doing it to irritate me, yet he won’t stop until I yell at him (there’s the catch-22). Then he shuts up for 11.3 seconds (long enough to laugh at me), and starts over. I think this time I am going to let him go naked, I’m quite tired of staying up all night to pack.

Finally, our third fight is going to be over something I forgot to do, amongst the 30 bajillion other things I was busy doing while my husband sat and picked his nose and whistled the Jackson 5’s greatest hits. This third fight might also not happen until we get to California and he realizes that I didn’t pack him any socks. Then I’ll snip at him, “If you’d have set out clothes instead of ABC-ing all day this wouldn’t have happened!�?

This is going to be the best vacation ever!

Marriage is defined as a unity and mutual action. On the other hand, independence is non-contingent on someone or something else and non-dependent upon another entity. The very idea that someone is independent AND involved in a mutual partnership is an oxymoron and an irony that I simply cannot ignore.

By very definition, a truly independent woman is not married I do not feel I’m disgracing my gender by claiming myself as a dependent woman. I AM! That’s why I got married in the first place, because I know I need Aaron (and all of his money!), and I enjoy the togetherness of marriage. I enjoy the partnership & joint decision making. If you are functioning independently of your spouse, you are the reason the divorce rate is 50% in this country. Oh yeah that’s right, I did say it! You can’t expect to just be out doing your own thing all the time and have a healthy marriage. There’s no partnership in independence. If you want to be an independent woman then throw another bra on the fire and do it! Don’t skip around behind this American dream-like facade of happy marriages and picket fences just to show everyone how grown up you are (I’m a big kid, look what I can do..I can hire a lawyer too). Oil and water don’t mix kids, that’s just basic chemistry (my blogs are angsty AND educational. Fun for the whole family!)

Just to drive my point home, I’ll throw the Bible at you. Both Genesis and Ephesians (old school AND new school Bible, so it must be true) say to leave your parents and cling to your spouse. NOT cling to the idea of a marriage or those 15 people you around and act pretentious with, because that’s a self-righteous game I just don’t play.