A Series of Stupid
This story brought to you by Kentucky, specifically Covington, and once you read the dumbness you’ll have no problems believing it. In Kentucky, where education pays, a man walks into a bank and hands the teller a note asking for money. Well, apparently penmanship does NOT pay in the Bluegrass state, as the teller couldn’t read the man’s scrawl. She had to ask him what the note said, so then he was on camera asking for money. No wait, the dumbness gets better. Then the man’s sister is in the parking lot in the getaway car. Now the employees have all had a good long stare at the license plate number. So, when police found her hitchhiking on I-75 after the car broke down (I’m imagining a rusty old Oldsmobile for some reason) they easily picked her up and found her brother in Covington. Oh Kentucky, keep breeding, it makes me feel better about myself.
What’s more dumb? Two guys in South Carolina managed to blow up their own car thanks to their addiction to huffing. Perhaps I should say their addiction to dumb. Let’s see: two cans of compressed air? Check. Cigarettes? Check. Lighter? Check. Which of these things should NOT belong. After a fun 10 minutes of huffing, one genius went to light a cigarette, the compressed air ignited and poof! There went the car. Both men are still alive (according to the news) and have unhappy, second degree reminders of their brilliance.
Now for some football dumbness. Baltimore Ravens coach John Harbaugh still can’t decide who his starting quarterback should be. Unless Troy Smith is dead, what is there to think about? I remain largely unimpressed by Joe Flacco, and Kyle-bot should’ve been traded three seasons ago. Currently the bot is “nursing a serious shoulder injury” according to NFL.com. By serious shoulder injury do they mean, “he sucks”. Meanwhile Troy has tonsillitis. You don’t need tonsils to throw a football! Why don’t you just bring back McNair?
Filed under: Life in Cincinnati, News From All Over, Sports on August 30th, 2008
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