One Stray Pea

I’m just going to rant in general today. I actually started this yesterday but I had too much to say to finish it, so bear with me. While the Liz Carroll judge prefers not to partake in this “cacophony” I choose to partake, it’s my first amendment right.

In local news a jury found Liz Carroll guilty of murder, involuntary manslaughter, kidnapping, felonious assault, and 3 counts of child endangering. The rest of the world is not surprised. This is like saying, “Britney Spears is found to be a bad mom.�? No kidding, she wanders the globe like an addlepated tart and is generally too busy stripping, drinking, or puking to bother taking care of her children. It’s been a while since I’ve handed out the douche bag of the week award, but I can’t pick just one this time. It’s like douche bag city, there’s no end to the douche baggery in the death of Marcus Fiesel.

Douche #1, David Carroll – What kind of husband brings his girlfriend to LIVE in the home with his wife? I mean, there’s extramarital affairs and then there is ridiculous. There are conflicting reports as to whether or not David & Liz shared Amy Baker as their girlfriend or not, and I don’t care what’s true in that case. I’m Midwest, I don’t want to hear about swingers, I want to grow corn! This guy is 28 years old, old enough to know that taking care of a child is more important than having sex with some random white trash that blew into your yard. Certainly old enough to know better than to tie him up, or let someone else tie him up etc. etc.

Douch #2, Liz Carroll – Ok, when the prosecuting attorney is making his closing argument and brings up that “they treated the family dog better than Marcus�?, you don’t say, “but the dog was alive.�? Liz, that didn’t make you look smart, it didn’t make you look caring, and it certainly didn’t help your case! You were also old enough to know better. Also, using a foster child as a source of income is disgusting. I suppose that’s what people do when they are to ugly to strip.

Douche #3, Amy Baker – You get immunity for telling “the truth�? which conveniently doesn’t implicate yourself. Good work, you’re the smartest piece of trash in Clermont County. As my dad would say, “no good deed goes unpunished.�? This means hillbillies with pitchforks are going to show up at the Bob Evan’s where she’s a waitress (under a fake name..as if her face hasn’t been all over the news) and filet her in the parking lot.

Douche #4, Liz Carroll’s lawyer – although I have the STRONG feeling he was trying to guarantee her firm ground for appeal by giving such a piss poor defense.

Douche #5, The Cincinnati Enquirer – I’ve made no bones about how poorly written I find this paper. I mean, isn’t there an editor to find the typos and the bad grammar? It’s not like my blog, it’s a newspaper, people are supposed to read it! Anyways the Enquirer is being recognized with this coveted award for publishing the names and occupations of the jurors in this case. Where do they get off? I once served as a juror in a medial malpractice case where a man had died (because his wife didn’t care about him, not the fault of the doctor) and as the foreman of that jury I would have felt my safety was in danger. Heck, I felt endangered enough just being in downtown Hamilton! The Enquirer is saying that “overriding public interest in the case�? is justifying the name publication. Overriding public opinion here is that the Enquirer is full of douche bags.

In the end I have made predictions: While David Carroll must know that he doesn’t stand an ice cubes chance, his lawyer will again fight that he cannot get a fair trial in Clermont County. To which I reply, you killed a 3 year old, autistic boy, do you deserve a fair trial? No. But if David doesn’t kill himself before March 19, his lawyer will not worry about getting him set free, she’ll worry about making sure he has strong grounds for appeal.

And kudos to the judge in this case for not abusing his power (and speaking ability) and completely going overboard with the obligatory verbal spanking each judge gives a convicted criminal. The diarrhea of their judgmental mouth has always annoyed me

Filed under: Life in Cincinnati, Squawk Box on February 22nd, 2007