Every plate has one
Can someone explain to me what is going on in the NFL right now? The Bengals are 1-2, yet the Browns just beat the Ravens? The Bills AND the Falcons put up a win? However,
What does it take to beat the Steelers? 2 parts baby-mama drama, 2 parts really old and half washed up quarterback. Oh and 4 sacks and an end of the game interception, thanks Ben. It’s times like these that I miss Bill Scowler. By the way, why was Mike Tomlin dressed like the NFL’s version of P. Diddy?
After looking over their schedule, I think it’s entirely possible that it could be December before the Bills put up a W. I’m serious, they might be having the worst season ever. Each week they see more and more injuries, and with the temporary loss of J.P. Losman to a sprained MCL, this week most likely means another loss for the Bills. Perhaps they should put their practice energy into making Get Well cards for Kevin Everett. While Chad Pennington isn’t 100%, I pick the Jets by 3. Â
The Browns and Ravens are both mildly banged up going into this game. However, even though they beat the Bengals, the Browns still suck. Jamal Lewis might say he is looking forward to playing his old team now, but he might change his tune about the third quarter. That being said, I think Steve McNair’s groin is going to “act up�? and I only pick the Ravens by 10.
NFL.com says, “Rams looking for first win against 3-0
Wow, let’s just recap last week: Not only did Bad Rex show up, Bad Rex had a breakdown. I think his team turned on him like sour milk on a hot summer day. Then Brian Griese started chanting his own name (the crowd followed). Meanwhile, Jon Kitna is having a pretty phenomenal season, has promised
This will probably be a good game; after all, these are two horrible teams. Loud mouthed linebacker, Joey Porter, has promised a
Ok Houston, you’ve got me, I’m a believer. However, you’re also playing the Falcons, so don’t get so cocky. I think most of
Brett Farve, where have you been?
Since the Seahawks are my NFC choice, obviously I’ll be choosing them for the win this week over the 49’ers. However, the Seahawks lost to the Cardinals. So because of this, I only pick them by 7. Â
The NFC South is turning into an interesting division. The Falcons and the Saints are both sucking, and the Bucs and Panthers are battling for the top spot. While David Carr might get the nod to start against the Panthers, I don’t think he’ll be leading them towards a win. The Buccaneers are taking over the south, and I pick them to win by 14.
AGAIN!
I like to refer to this game as, “
The Chargers are turning it around this week, I feel a win coming on. I think there was the stumble, but they aren’t ready for the fall yet. With battle of the grumpy running backs, I think it’ll be LJ that goes home furious. I am picking the chargers by 10.
I might as well just start my own Eli Manning Fan Club. We all know how I feel about Donovan McNabb (the Mr. Glass thing, not the criticism comment), and how I feel about Eli. Plaxico Burress is going to man up, ignore the ankle and play like he means it and I pick the Giants, by 3.
Now, I heart WHO DEY! Just as much as everyone else, but a girl’s gotta be realistic. The
Sun delays, onion delays, watermelon delays and today, hot dog delays. I’m not joking, a hot dog delay. So there I am this morning, tooling down the highway, on my way to school and I come around a bend in the highway and all I see is breaklights and cars swerving every which way and I’m looking for an accident in the middle lane that I need to avoid but no, what do I see? People on the other side of a bridge driving down the grass to get to the street below, people driving down and entrance ramp to the highway because the highway has been shut down. I gave up being early for school at this point. Then I decided to follow the crowd, I got over into the shoulder, slammed the car into reverse and drove backwards about a fourth of a mile to the exit ramp and started driving through Kentucky as if I had a clue where I was going. When I left school 3 hours later, the highway was still shut down and it smelled like dead animals, so when I arrived home I checked out the local news to find that a semi truck full of rotten hot dogs had overturned. Now, while I do see the humor here I really think that all this food on the highway recently is really getting out of control. That being said, I do agree with the person who was quoted by local news as saying, “It looked like hot dogs, but the stench was enough to make you physically ill.” It was truely vomitous.
And the hits just keep on coming for Michael Vick, who tested positive for the marijuana. I suppose that’s just part of his culture too.
Dear Donovan McNabb,
Did you stop crying long enough to watch Dallas kick the Bears all over Soldier Field? I hope so.
Sincerely,
Football Fans of America
Here’s some announcer quotes from tonights game concerning another of Rex’s “quality” performances:
“We’ve seen good Rex, now we’re seeing bad Rex” – Al Michaels
“The booing would be a lot louder but half the crowd is already in the parking lot” – Al Michaels
“It’s getting to the point that I think Rex is booing himself” – John Madden
Sunday Night Football recap: Rex sucked when it counted, situation normal.
Dear Rexie,
If you don’t pull it together, Soldier Field is going to become a lions den…literally. And we’ve seen you on the run, it won’t be pretty.
Sincerely,
Chicago Bears Fans
I just want to take a moment to point out that the Steelers have the EASIEST schedule I’ve ever seen before going into their bye-week? The Browns, Bills, 49’ers and Seahawks? Someone is kidding right? While I will ABSOLUTELY cheer for the 49’ers this week (leaves less of a rash than cheering for the Steelers) I predict a blow-out at Heinz field. Steelers by 20.
Another AFC North blow out. I don’t think the Cardinals stand a chance, even if they illegally call a snap count. I kind of hope they do so I can listen to Brian Billick cry about it all week. Ravens by 21.
Dear Texans, I think your perfect season may be coming to an end. While I’m becoming a believer that the Texans have greatly improved, I am not convinced that they are going to beat Peyton and the world champion Colts. However, I think the Texans have the ability to make this a game and I’m only picking the Colts by 7.
I pick the Lions this week. Not because I think they’re fantastic and not because Jon Kitna is white. Basically because Donovan McNabb won’t have enough time to change his tampon and tape himself back together in the huddle and I think it’s really going to throw off his game. Plus, Jon PROMISED
Bills are looking for their first win, but I think they’re going to have to wait until next week. Dirty cheaters or not, those Patriots have some talent. The Bills have a lot to prove but they’re probably going to look like the typical Bills who can’t finish a game again this week. Patriots by 21.
It’s back to losing for Brett Favre. DeShawn Wynn can sit back and take notes this week on what he has the potential to look like in the next few years but I think that this week is all about the Chargers. I can’t see one of the best teams in football losing to a mediocre team like the Packers. Besides, we all know when it comes to AFC vs. NFC who I will choose. Chargers by 10.
I think it’s the Jets lucky break. I don’t foresee the Dolphins pulling it together for this weeks game and I predict an 0-3 start. I’m picking the Jets by 7.
This is a week where I think the winless team makes a turnaround. While the Vikings are 1-1, they beat the Falcons, yes, in a game where I picked the Falcons to win. However, I think this is the week where
I don’t know where to go with this one. The Rams are winless, and
I think Derek Anderson is going to get eaten in the Black Hole this week. The Raiders need a win, and I think the Browns are going to give it to them. The Brown’s aren’t a very consistent team, unless you being consistently bad counts. As if the Raiders have room to talk. So, based on the fact that Brown’s had a win last week, I don’t think they can do it two weeks in a row. I call for the Raiders by 3, possibly in overtime.
Here are two teams coming off games they should have won, games that shouldn’t have even been close. Not to mention two teams losing to the worst teams in their divisions. The Bengals need to bring their defense and not girl scouts with them this week to Qwest field. I think the Bengals are completely capable of beating my top NFC pick for this season, and I am picking the Bengals by 3.
Slow start for the Giants, and there are those that are going to point out that the Redskins have started 2-0. To which I say, yeah, against the Dolphins and the Eagles. I remain unimpressed and I’m still cheering for Eli. This week the Giants are healthy and they are raving mad. I don’t think the Redskins are going to top the raging Giants and I am calling for Eli to lead his team by 7 over the Redskins. However, if they lose on me for the third week in a row, I’m going to become a fair-weather fan.
I don’t think Joey Herrington is going to last long as #1 QB now that the left-behind Leftwich has come to town. A week ago he was crying in his mom’s basement, this week he’ll pace the sidelines in
Two teams that are 2-0, one team with a talented offense, another with a talented defense. Then there’s that team with Rex. THE most criticized quarterback in the NFL (Dear McNabb, Rexie is a white boy). That being said, unless the Bears’ defense dies in a tragic accident this week I don’t foresee the Cowboys going home 3-0. I predict a good night for fans at Soldier Field, with the Bears’ winning by 14.
The Saints are desperately seeking their first win, Drew Brees isn’t down with all of this losing. Neither am I. However, the Titans have looked good these past few weeks. I’m still cheering for the Saints though, I think they are going to pull it off on the big MNF stage. Saints by 14. Get it together Drew.
Wow, Miss Cleo says don’t call me now. It was a DISMAL week for my crystal ball, as I was only 3 for 16 in scores and 8 for 16r 16 in picking the game winners. What a terrible week in football. The Bengals, Giants, Seahawks and Saints all lost yet somehow the 49′ers and the Texans are 2-0? Apocalypse anyone?
I’ve polished the crystal ball, and maybe this week won’t be so dismal.
Apparently Florence police have found a stolen car in Chris Henry’s driveway. It was reported stolen from Hertz. Chris says his car was stolen in Louisiana (I’d expect nothing less from those Louisianan’s) and that he had rented a car through Hertz under the assumption that his insurance company would pay for it. However, neither Chris nor his insurance company has paid Hertz, and the man wants his money. Now, as someone who’s had their car stolen, I’ll tell you there’s a 99.9% chance that he’s supposed to pay up front and the insurance will reimburse him. I had to pay $90 to get my own car out of the impound lot. State Farm sent me a check like a month later, like a good neighbor.
Now, here’s why I say Chris Henry is being targeted. The police officer who “discovered” said stolen vehicle just happened to be driving by Henry’s residence and realized that there was a car in the driveway that he didn’t recognize and decided to run the plates. WHAT?! How many times a day do you drive by houses and just decide to run plates? Thanks for keeping Florence safe officer D-bag. I hope you get on T.V. just like you wanted.
I knew the news would get better. Yesterday I turned on the tv at
There was a jail riot at the
Finally, a high school rivalry has led to suspected arson. Apparently someone set fire at
I’ve been challenged this week to make predictions about the actual score of the game and not just who will win. At first I was resistant to this, as it’s too much commitment for me. However, my inner Cleo took over and I’ve decided to take on the challenge.
It breaks my heart to pick the Steelers two weeks in a row, but I’m going with the Steelers again, but I predict a much closer game, with the Steelers winning by less than a touch down. Please, JP Losman, prove me wrong.
I predict this to be a very close game. With most of
According to the Titans website, they are ready for Manning. Ready to what? Watch him connect with Reggie Wayne all day? No doubt, this will be Colts all day long. Yes, I recall last year where the Titans almost beat the Colts, but that was before the Colts became the world champions. Vince Young doesn’t hold a candle to Peyton. I pick the Colts by 14.
Oh Eli, man up and get back out there. I don’t think the Packers have much of a chance if Eli plays this week. Brett is over the hill and Eli is ready to come into his own. I pick the Giants by 6 if Eli plays, 3 if he doesn’t.
While the Texans blew me away last week by not only beating, but blowing out the Chiefs, I’m still not a believer. I choose the Panthers by a touchdown.
The NFC west is a pretty weak division. Maybe that’s why I think the Seahawks look so good. Anyways, I’m choosing the team led by more experience, so Rams by 10. Sorry, I can’t be a 49’ers fan for more than a week, it leaves a rash.
If it’s brown, flush it down! With the turmoil in
Sean Payton and his Saints will be marching in (and all over)
The Dolphins are so dismal that I can’t even muster up the hope that they will win. Let’s be honest, the Dolphins don’t stand a chance against Tony Romo and old T.O. Trent Green is probably going to eat turf as I pick
I thought Jon Kitna looked great last week, but the again he was playing the Raiders. While I am quite unfamiliar with the Vikings, Kitna has promised
I think the Seahawks could beat the Cardinals even if Charlie Frye played half the game. That’s not a compliment to Charlie Frye, it’s an indication of how terrible I think the Cardinals are. All Heisman trophy winners are not created equal, Matt Leinart. He’s got too much baby mama drama going on anyways.
The Chiefs lost to the Texans, don’t expect me to pick them over the Bears. I’m tempted to pick the Bears by 21, but because Rex sucks so much, I’m only picking them for 14. Â
Week 1 was not nice to either of these quarterbacks. Chad Pennington not only injured his ankle, he got more cheers for leaving the field than he got for playing. Meanwhile, Steve McNair appeared to be doing the pregnant waddle by the fourth quarter. Not to mention Ray Lewis and Samari Rolle (who I would fully expect to play). I choose the Ravens by 7, but only if Steve gets rid of his cramps by game time.
Wow, I’m really shocked that
This is going to be my game of the week, next to the Bengals/Browns match up of course. Despite the cheating allegations and my own personal dislike for Tom Brady, I think the Patriots are an obvious strong team. The Chargers are out for revenge over last year’s playoffs, and coming off of a big win over the Bears last week. While both teams have a lot to prove, I think the Patriots have more talent. Patriots by 3.
Eh, it’s another Monday night football game I’m not thrilled about watching. Mr. Glass is “ready to explode�? with a good performance. Clinton Portis is listed on the Redskins’ injury report, injury is “Coach’s Decision�?. What does that even mean? I kinda hope it means he got mauled in some backwoods fun (May 24), but it probably means he’s got cramps (I’m tired of you men..PMS-ing, it’s our thing, back off! That statement was mostly directed at Kanye West). I had a hard time coming to a decision on this one, as they are definitely the weaker teams in the NFC North right now. I choose the Eagles by a field goal.
I’m sure we’ve all heard the news about those low-down, dirty, no good, cheating New England Patriots. I think the real news is that Bill Belichick wore a real shirt in this past Sunday’s game rather than that ragged out, torn up sweatshirt he usually wears. I think this all further proves my statement that Tom Brady is the most over rated quarterback in the NFL. And really, cheating to beat the Jets? That was just unnecessary. Oh that’s right, they didn’t cheat, Bill just “misunderstood the rules�?. I’m sure that’ll work great for my next exam, “I’m sorry Professor, I didn’t know it was against the rules to look at someone else’s answers. I won’t do it again..here, have some money and let me go on my way.�? Give me a break. Please Bill, don’t lie, just say, “I’m sorry, I cheated, and I promise, next week I’m bringing back the sweatshirt�?.
So the Browns dumped Charlie Frye, again, not surprising news. The real shocker is that the Seahawks picked him up. WHY?! There goes my NFC pick….This opens up the starting quarterback position to Derek Anderson. I predict this to last about 2 weeks, so I hope Brady Quinn is eating his Wheaties.
Stay Tuned for my NFL predictions…