Here’s a hate we can all enjoy, WALLPAPER! The worst part about moving into a pre-owned home is that someone else thought that paisley print wallpaper was really cute. They also thought that green stripes or American flags looked awesome as well. News flash, it’s not. It’s ugly and it gives me vertigo.

When Aaron and I lived in our first house there was wallpaper everywhere. There was flowered wallpaper in BOTH bathrooms (which where both pink by the way), a flowered border in the PINK dining room, some green striped wallpaper in the kitchen, something paisley or flowered in the entry and something horrible in the office. It was like amoebas everywhere, green and purple amoebas. The lady who lived there before us was so proud of her custom wallpaper and curtains in the dining room. They matched, same ugly floral pattern. Well, the border bit the dust and those curtains ended up as drop cloths when I painted over that horrible Pepto-Bismol nightmare. Take that wallpaper!

In our current home the kitchen previously had an American flag border. Yeah, that was removed before we ever moved in here. However, all of the other hideous borders remain, like Winnie the Pooh in my office, or the dolphins in the bathroom, and my personal favorite, the moose and bear border in the dining room. What?! Moose and bears? Oh yeah, and did I mention there’s dream catchers on it as well. I’m pretty positive this lady was addicted to borders and found this one in the 99 cent bin.

Maybe I’m confused, or maybe it’s because I haven’t yet reached the geriatric realm, but why on earth would I glue paper to my walls? Or maybe it’s because I got in so much trouble when I put Family Circus stickers all over my door when I was 4….(they’re still there by the way)

There is one state that I think we should kick out of the union. Mainly because I don’t feel as though it contributes to the greater good of society, but also because it’s home to the WORST drivers I’ve ever encountered. California? No, INDIANA!

I’ve hated Indiana drivers for as long as I’ve lived in Ohio (which is 25 years for those of you who are counting). They’re erratic and inattentive (these probably go hand in hand). I spent a long 6 weeks living in Indiana and I spent a lot of time yelling and shaking my fist angrily. How hard is it to maintain your lane? We’re not even talking about cell phone drivers, this is just how they roll.

Really, what does Indiana have to offer? Aurora? A town that sounds as if it were named after an STD? Indianapolis, where I saw 6 people crammed into a Corolla, flying down the highway (by the way, the 6^th person was sitting on the laps of the 4 people crammed into the backseat). Indy, by the way, is the worst city I’ve ever driven through, especially during rush hour. Or how about the endless fields of corn? That’s why we have Iowa, sorry Indiana, we don’t need your help.

For a state who boasts itself as “The Crossroads of America�?, I think they should take a look around and consider changing to: “Indiana, holding back humanity one cornstalk at a time�?.

Remember when I promised to post once a day? Then remember when I said I’m not above lying? Yeah, put that together. I’m not even apologizing. This hate is brought to you in part by utter ridiculous (along with the letter P!). I apparently have not only a very sensitive sense of smell but also very sensitive ears because I hate the sound of a vacuum cleaner. Aaron can attest to this, or anyone else who’s ever seen the tumbleweed of dog hair blow by them in my house.

My mom swears that when I was a baby she would vacuum under my crib while I slept. I believe this led to two things (or maybe three): my innate ability to sleep through anything (which includes but is not limited to sleeping through someone donkey kicking my door and robbing my house), my HATE for vacuum cleaner noise and possibly my waking up grumpy. Because I don’t believe that I just slept through all of this unnecessary ruckus going on in my bedroom. And honestly mom, was there no other time to vacuum?

Regardless of where this hate started the sound of a vacuum cleaner makes me want to collapse in the floor and cover my ears. And the autistic tendencies continue….

This one REALLY irks me. I could just kick a goat, but I’ll probably just be kicking the person doing this one. I can’t stand those people who just stop in doorways. I do not understand this phenomenon at all. It’s as if someone pulled the plug on these boobs and they lose the ability to function in the middle of the doorway! It kind of reminds me of that old show “Small Wonders” with the robot girl…only ten times more irritating. Usually it’s someone on their cell phone, which prompts me to yell something along the lines of “get out of the way!” or “how hard is it to walk AND talk?”. Sometimes I don’t say anything, I choose to body check them instead. I’m a person of little mass so I use this tactic sparingly, only for those I know can’t beat me up. I’m so tough until I think someone might jack my jaw. It’s all fun in games until I get knocked out.

Along the same lines of people who stop in doorways is the people who push and shove their way through not very crowded places for no good reason. If you bump into my with your shopping cart in the U-Scan at Meijer there’s a 99.9% chance that I will not only slow down my transaction, but I will look at you and say “and yes, I am taking my sweet time, wanna bump me again?” Or, a trick I learned from my dad, if your kid is pushing into me (or my friends) repeatedly in a store (or the U.S. Mint in D.C.) be warned, I’m the Queen of the nonchalant trip. If your kid falls and busts his face on the floor, I don’t care, teach that brat not to push. And for the love of all that’s good, keep him out of the doorway!

oh yeah, they’re calling for some sort of sleet & ice and possibly 4-8 or 6-10 (depends on the weather station) inches of snow tomorrow. You can imagine my excitement I’m sure.